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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

It isn't Making Money that Defines You

Money has never defined a person.  It only tells people what you do to earn a living.  It is what we all work at to get the money $$$$$$ in our pockets.  And it is hard earned money.

Everybody always seems to be all about money.  But it isn't what we are all about.  Does money define everything you do in life?  Do you think about money way too much?  Does money make you happy?  Would you be just as happy with less money?

Sometimes we do with a little less money so we can have other more important things in life.  Many of us, would ultimately sacrifice more money to be able to spend more time with our children and our loved ones.

After all, time is priceless.  And we all wish we had more time.  The fact of life is that there is never enough time.  But that doesn't really define us either.  It's not time that makes us who we are.

It's the choices in our lives that define us.  And I mean outside of money.

Who are you really?  Who were you born as?  What have been your biggest passions all your lives?  Spending time with our children and our families and loved ones are the most important things in our lives.

And then to get beyond that, we are defined by the things we like.  Our deepest passions, hobbies, talents, and personal goals and other important things that we really love to do, whether we make money at it or not.  Those are the things that truly define who we are.  The things we love to spend time doing when we are in our free time.  Those are the things that make us who we are.

If you begin to strip all that away.  The things you loved to do since the beginning of time, gone from your soul, then you have truly lost yourself.  You can't just concentrate of the stuff that is going to make you money.

Yes, it is important, as we all need to live and support ourselves and have money to survive in this world.  We know we all need it, but it doesn't make us who we are.  It's all the priceless stuff that defines us.  More time with our families, more time to do the things we love, just more time to discover our authentic selves.

So if anyone ever discourages you from doing something that you love to do, tell them to stop it.  I recently had someone discourage me from going back to write more on my novels.  His words were, "You aren't going to make any money from that."  He seems to discourage me from doing the things that aren't going to make me money.  Why is it that people can only concentrate on the things that are going to make you money?  I just don't like that.

He just hasn't known me long enough to know that I do the things I do, all the projects and passions that I like to do because I have the desire to do it and see it to completion, whether I make money at it or not.

Why is it in our society that everyone thinks we have to make money at everything we do?   Why do people tell us not to do the things we love?  Do they think it's a waste of our time?  Maybe it would be a waste of their time, because it wouldn't be something that they would do.  It's not their talent or passion.  They have other things that they like to do that don't make them money and they don't see me telling them they shouldn't do it.

Do they hear me saying, "Hunting and fishing isn't going to make you any money."  No they don't.

I value anyone that carves out some precious time to do something they love to do.  I write, create art, paperdolls, photography, sewing, knitting, and on and on because I simply love doing it.  I love creating something that once was nothing.

To tell someone to not do something that they love, in a way is a literal way of killing them.  You take away all the things that I love to do, I am nothing.  Except a mother, daughter, sister,aunt, etc... but all that still doesn't define who I am.  They are everyone that is related to me.

And isn't it so true that sometimes it is the family members and the people that you love that infuriate you the most?  They think they are telling it like it is, but they are not.  They refuse to see the point of things that aren't related to money.

Or should I say the finer points in life.  When we end our lives we ultimately want to be defined for a lifetime of defining our authentic selves.  Discovering new things that we never knew about ourselves.  Seeing when we need to find change in our lives and making sure that we are doing what we think is right for ourselves.

What we really should be doing is not listening to anyone who has negativeness on the things we love.  Do what is right for you and don't let anyone stand in your way.  This is why the world is made up of people who dare to dream and faith that what we set out to do will come true.  But only we can do it.

If we listened to all the people who ever said we can't, where would we honestly be?  Lost in a deep trap of negativity in an abyss we created because we listened to all the people who put us down.

But we do need jobs to make us money, and I have one.  Ebay is my job right now.  I'm making money and I'm happy at it.  I get to spend time with my kids while I do it.  And I have time for my boyfriend.

And we do have bills that zap the money.  Don't we all wish we could pay our bills at the Dollar Store?  I wish.

Yet, all he can think of is that "It's terrible you don't have a job."

Well I had to let it be clear to him that Ebay is my job and I am making more money than I did at my part time retail job that I quit last year.  5 hours a week was hardly anything to write home about.  And one of my daughter's outfits sold for more than I would have made in an hour.

What we really need to do is know when to put on our ear plugs and not listen to all that.

But sometimes we do need to listen as sometimes it helps us to grow as an authentic self.  It's a matter of knowing when you need to listen and when you need to drown it out.

And it's all about our choices that define us.  It's up to us to make our own choices in life.  Don't ever let anyone do it for you.  Stand up for yourself.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted April 11, 2012





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