Wednesday, October 24, 2012

If you Can't Have Trust, Can you Have Love?

                                          I took this picture earlier this summer.

Trust has always played a huge role in any successful relationship.  Whether it is between the trust of friends, co workers or anyone, there needs to be trust.  It plays a huge role on how the relationships will be played out.

And any successful relationship or a marriage needs to absolutely have a good foundation in trust before you can make sure that it stays strong.

Yes, we can fall in love, become infatuated, be happy in a new love interest and a developing relationship.  But in order for it to last, it needs to have the firm foundation of trust to make sure that it is going to be able to weather the storms.

No marriage or long term relationship is immune from conflict and potential disaster.  It's up to us to be able to us to understand that trust needs to be constant.

If there is always this feeling of jealousy, mistrust and feelings that the other half may be doing something that we don't like and we have suspicions and lack of trust, naturally those relationships could potentially fall apart.

When we love someone, we have to be strong and believe that there is a good relationship and that we can work things out with each other.  We need to understand one another, have compromise, listen respectively to each other's needs and pay attention.  Also it is important to fulfill each other's needs too.

So, so important that both partners get what they want.  Especially if it is really important to the other half.  True, not every single need is going to get met, but the important ones should get met.  If they don't, it means that the other half simply doesn't care to fulfill your needs.

Love does not get stronger without the trust in each other.  You need to have a very firm belief that you can trust your partner with all your thoughts and wishes, desires, hopes and dreams.  Your partner should be able to be there just to hold you, tend to the simple things. 

A hug, a kiss, holding hands and sittlng beside each other really means so much.  This is primarily what a woman is asking for.  True, we do love flowers and chocolate and other pretty things, but the thing a woman really wants isn't that stuff.  We want the intimacy and the affection that should come along with the trust.
If we feel like we don't get any of this intimacy, you could also find that the trust could get damaged.  With the lack of intimacy, we women feel that a man doesn't care, that he doesn't find us attractive.  It makes us feel, what have we done wrong.

Trust should be built as a strong wall around this thing called love.  I will also tell all men and women, that once someone destroys the trust, it is damaged, severed and there could potentially be no hope to salvage should you wish to do so.

Think about what you are doing before you make an effort to destroy the trust.  True, you can sometimes gain back this trust, but it could very well take a long time to reverse the wrongs.  And the damage has been done and there will be the hurt that is there.  You could be forgiven, but the other partner will not forget.  You must know that.  The memory is always going to be there.

If you really believe 100% in your vows, your marriage, your long term relationship, then think before you leap into stupidity and dumbness.  Don't make foolish mistakes.

I would also suggest to all couples is pick up a copy of Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.  I'm reading it now.  I'm out of my relationship, but we are friends again.  Not to say what the future holds, as none of us know the future.  But understanding one another is the key to forgiveness and it really sets you free.

I'm only into the first chapter so far and it is a very good read.  I think one of the most important things he stresses is both partners should win.  I know I have mentioned this before, but will say it again.  The book also seems to celebrate our differences.  After all, we can't all be the same, right?

If you seriously want your relationship to work with the one you love and you would like to believe that it can and will last forever, it means you are going to have to have a trust in each other that cannot be broken.

Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted October 25, 2012


  1. This is so true... In my relationship the trust I had for my partner was abused at one point and this has created major flaws in our relationship. Although we are still trying and going strong and that trust is being rebuilt, I can not pretend this is not a difficult process. Not just difficult, but painful too. Trust is everything. People should really be aware that it is an essential function of all POSITIVE relationships. I agree 100%

  2. Hi Jennifer,

    Thank you so much for stopping to visit me from Katherine's. She has such a sweet party. Your flower photo is gorgeous! I totally agree with you. Trust is essential in making a marriage work. Next year will be my 20th wedding anniversary. I guess we are doing something right :-)

  3. Thank you for sharing. Your post is filled with many things to ponder.

  4. Trust can definitely be re built. But it needs to be there. Thanks for all the nice comments. I love sharing.