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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Why Jumping to Conclusions can get Us in Trouble

How many of us have had times when we jumped to conclusions about things?  It is so easy to do in any sort of relationship.  It happens so often that it is probably ridiculous when we think about it.  Kids do it to other kids and adults do it too.  Or sometimes kids get angry with an adult because they may think they are talking about them when they are talking about someone else.

And it is very often when we don't know the whole story about something, when we find ourselves jumping to conclusions.  I finally talked with my ex boyfriend about a lot of things and I am feeling terrible that I had jumped to conclusions and I was wrong and things hadn't happened.  I guess I am just lucky that I haven't completely burned bridges and we are friends.  And he's talking to someone which shows me he is trying.  That's good.

I think when people jump to conclusions, we do have to own it when we realize things weren't the way we thought they were.  But you know it is so easy to do at the time you see or hear things.  You begin to put two and two together and you think,  hmmm.... this and this and this just doesn't add up.  WTF.  And before you know it, you've flown off the handle and are thinking the worst.

And usually when we do this, we act first and think later.  Isn't that the way?  We don't think to sit down with the person and ask all the questions.  We start to talk and vent and before you know it, you have landed into some trouble.  In this instance, it is important to fix what you can and try to just say sorry and own it and hope for the best.  You will either burn your bridges in the process or there could be hope to salvage.
They also have to know where you are coming from though too, because most of the time in all these instances you aren't the only one who caused the problem.  There is usually some conflict from the other party too where maybe they need to say sorry too.  Especially in a relationship.  Sometimes we jump to conclusions about things because something important didn't happen for us and your other half needs to realize why you acted the way you did.  Maybe you were angry and you felt your trust taken away and the love got damaged and destroyed.  Well, maybe not completely destroyed, however there's now that dent in the can because he/she did something to make you question their actions too.

I guess what people need to do is rationally sit down together and discuss things, hear both sides and then go from there how they want to solve an issue.

And I will tell you honestly, closure feels so good.  We just can't sometimes just leave things with just a few things said and leave it at that.  It takes sitting down and listening to the whole thing and learning to understand one another.

And if you can still be friends, that's great.  And if you want more, just give it time and see what happens.  If things are meant to be, it will happen.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted October 24, 2012

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