This morning I was listening to John and Chantal in the morning on 95 Triplex. If you are near the Vermont area, they are really funny. And they do some really hilarious phone scams that are really off the wall. This morning's phone scam was about a brother calling up his married brother to see if he could babysit his nephew. He then went on to see if he could bring him to the park so he could score some chicks. Of course his brother didn't want him to use his son as bait for that. Then the brother talked about bringing him to the bars and all kinds of insane stuff. He said that they could make some money and his friends could borrow the little four year old and they could make some money while his friends bring the little boy to the park so they could score some chicks.
But, besides the phone scam, John and Chantal started talking about all kinds of stupid things they had done and people called up to tell their stories. Chantal talked about walking into the wall and hitting the metal wall sconce. This girl called up and told some stories about playing outside with guys playing football and she fell and broke her thumb. Then a short while later, she was playing horseshoes with friends and the guy threw the horseshoe backwards and she broke her nose. Then one evening they were playing hide and seek with cousins and she was in some bushes and she found out it was poison ivy so she had to go to the hospital for a violent reaction to it. All in a space of a short bit.
After her story, Chantal said, "No more playing. Take up video games or become a blogger." I had to laugh at the latter part. That's right, nothing too violent about blogging. Unless if you fall asleep because you got bored with your blog and you hit the screen.
And some other really moronic things are when these guys are working on a house, barn or shed or some other project and they staple gun themselves with the nail gun. Or fall off a ladder with a saw. My friends husband did that one and he was lucky things weren't too serious. Can you just imagine nailing yourself in the leg, foot or butt? And I read one article on Triond that was about a guy who recently put a nail into his brain. He didn't realize it and then later went in as he was having some symptoms and sure enough they could see a nail in there. He was lucky and he ended up being okay. Although I would hate to think of what the later on effects of that would be.
I've walked into the side of the wall before. I've left my keys out overnight in my garden before. I had been planting stuff one day and had on leggings and had no pockets for my keys, so I placed them down. The next morning I was on the hunt for my keys and then I remembered I had set them down next to the petunias.
I hate it when I can't find my keys. I'm always misplacing them. I'll come into the apartment, set them down somewhere and about ten minutes later when I am ready to leave again, I can't remember where I put them. And before I know it, I am sifting through all the junk in my pocketbook for the stupid keys.
And there is the other stupid thing of going out to the car to drive back to my place from the kids house and I sit down and realize that the keys are in the house. My sister for some reason has left her keys inside the freezer. I'm not sure of the reasoning behind that. She did that once when she came to visit our house for one of the kids birthday parties.
What is one of the stupid things you have done?
Another one is going to bed and leaving the tv on downstairs or all the lights downstairs didn't get turned off.
Or perhaps you went to bed and forgot to lock the front door and you know you have to go down and lock it.
Here's another real stupid one. Have you ever been baking and then you go away on your vacation? This has happened to me on several occasions. My family and I would be packing all day for a weekend trip to Maine to visit my family (or rather, I would be packing all day for the whole family while the kids entertained themselves).
Of course I would also be baking and cooking things to bring with us. I would sometimes be cooking up to the last twenty minutes before we were ready. My husband would come home and then we both would be packing. He was usually in charge of getting things into the coolers and other stuff. Mind you, I am the woman who packs everything but the kitchen sink! I always wanted to bring my doing stuff and I have always been one to over pack and pack too many things that I don't end up having time to use.
Well, we would all hop in the car and start driving. We once got about forty five minutes into the trip and then I told my husband that I wasn't sure if I turned off the oven. He was pissed and we ended up driving all the way back to see if it was turned off, (which it was). I usually checked it too and he would check, but there was the occasional two to three times when I couldn't remember. The other times, we hadn't gone as far but still it was a pain in the neck to turn around and add more time to the trip.
Ever try to bring a movie back to the rental and the cd isn't in the case? Or forget to close the windows when it starts to rain?
Leave the ice cream container out for an hour and it all melts? Forget to take the meat off the chicken or leave food out for a long time? Leave a full soda can in the wrong spot and it spills? Pour milk and miss the aim?
I almost forgot, has anyone remembered going to Junior High with their shirt inside out or backwards? I've done that before. Which was okay if it was Backwards Day, but if it wasn't you were pretty embarrassed. And I guess one of the most embarrassing Junior High awkward moments would be arriving to school with no pad and you discover you needed one. This is where many of us women have had to learn how to make our own pad. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it worked.
What woman can't remember the fear of knowing you have stained through your undies and your jeans and you are so embarrassed and you are hoping that nobody can see it? This would also be compounded if a young girl going through puberty is wearing white. Then the whole world knows you are on the rag!
Then another embarrassing thing, (once again Junior High) I was feeling ill while in the classroom, so I got up and threw up in the middle of the floor as I was leaving the room. Of course everyone started laughing. And while I was gone, I'm sure it was the teacher's not so fun job of having to clean it up. I got to gather my stuff after and go home for the rest of the day.
Another stupid thing, how about tripping in a marble hole or another stupid hole in the yard. I did this one night upon leaving my writing class. It was dark and I didn't see the big hole in the driveway. I fell on the rough tar and scraped up my knees really bad and tore through my jeans. That was a mess for a good three weeks or more. Took a while for that to disappear.
Another one, jamming your finger or thumb in the car and it ends up getting infected. I had this stupid thing happen to me last year.
And one year when I worked retail, I started to drive my car in the dark and I rammed into one of those cement posts and dented the side of the car. And one spring while collecting things from our camp that we had to give up and sell, I tried backing up the trailer attached to the van. Didn't realize I wasn't supposed to back up with it, got stuck in muddy ruts and luckily our neighbor was next door working on his camp so he was able to fix my van for me so I could drive right out after. Needless to say, two more dents to both sides of the back of the van.
And then this last fall, I got in an accident (her fault) She cut in front of me as I was driving and I couldn't stop quick enough. Dent in the front corner, but lucked out no broken headlight. And my cat got knocked around in his carrier. The stupid thing to this story was that she asked to borrow my cell phone, then neither one of us had insurance and she told me if I could back up and move the car I would be okay to go and which I took her up on the offer as I didn't want to get a fine from the cops. Well, when I got home I realized she still had my phone and I didn't think to take down her liscense or get her name. But she knew where I worked. She was scatterbrained and never returned the phone either to my place of work or to the police station or Verizon. And you can bet that that same day, I called up and got basic liability. So now I am covered.
And I am sure that there are many more stupid moronic things that we all do from time to time and there is no escaping it.
I guess one for my Junior High Principal would be forgetting to lock the bathroom door. Once, when I was in the main office, I needed to use their bathroom and I walked in on the Principal sitting on the can. He was embarrassed and I was.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted January 28, 2012
If anyone likes paperdolls or knows someone who likes paper dolls, check out my paperdoll post on each of my blogs where my paper dolls are for sale:
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http://mommiedearest101.blogspot.com/
http://yourstrulycraftygal.blogspot.com/
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