The Authentic Life: I love myself enough to walk away

Monday, January 30, 2012

I love myself enough to walk away

Divorce and separation are never an easy thing. But when you know that it isn't going to work out you really have to love yourself enough to walk away.

When things are really rough and you don't like how you are being treated, you need to look at things in perspective. Is it more harmful to me to stay in this marriage? Is it hurting me to stay?

Sometimes women stay in a marriage even though they are being treated badly. They think they love the guy and are willing to stay and keep getting shattered every day. They take the hurtful words and let them dig into their bodies and destroy their minds.

When do you know that you need to get yourself out? If you really love yourself, you will walk away before it is too late. A harmful, hurtful marriage will slowly eat at you and destroy you until there is no end and you will start to get the blurry eyes and you won't know what is good and what is bad.

Get out now.

When you have kids, it is harder to leave. Many women want to stay in the marriage for their sake. They want their children to be in an intact marriage. But it is no good for the children, when they can clearly see that Mom or Dad is unhappy. Unhappy parents make for unhappy kids. And an unhealthy childhood.

Leave. They will thank you for it. It means that you are just going to have new beginnings where you are going to be happy. That is what you want. Perhaps a new love. I did. I found new love and fresh starts. And my kids are happy for me.

And the thing you want to stress to your kids the most, is that when Mom and Dad get divorced it doesn't mean that you are going to love them any less. You want them to know that you are always going to love them. That hasn't changed. Mom and Dad both love you. Love for your children never should change. You don't want them to feel angry that Mom or Dad doesn't love them anymore. That isn't true and you know it. But sometimes they don't know it and it is your job to tell them that you love them. Often.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 30, 2012