Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Cards we get Dealt with

We all know that we are going through our lives shuffling our cards, trying to keep a healthy balance, a good positive outlook on all our tomorrows and hope that we can overcome anything.

The cards we get dealt with is what we have on our plates and we find our own ways to face any conflict.  We can't have someone else's deck, as God says we can't take it.  Doesn't have our names on it.  You've been wanting the Hersheys Chocolate deck or the diamonds are forever deck?

What is your deck?  Scrambled eggs or the cute Easter Bunny?  It's yours so treasure it.  Make due with the things you have.  Some people go through life always wishing for the things he or she cannot have.
 My current knitting.  The headbands are a plain garter st.  Later on I want to try my own patterns.  Once I am moved.

Below, learning how to draw on these electronics.  My girls are a wiz at it, while prefer the old fashioned pencils and pens. 

 I'm sure I've got too many of those free apps from the Play Store.  Addicting!!!!!

 Here's my mannequin I drew on.  I'm having the most fun on the tablet and IPod tweeking my kid pictures.  Too many fun things.

I think we should be happy with our lives, try to make it better if there are conflicts, yes, hope for some things that are within our reach, but maintain what is ours.  I'm a type of person who can still be happy even when there's conflict.

It doesn't get much worse than bad harassers, but there's still an endurance which is ours in the face of plain mean people.

Question:  What justifies a husband to be really nasty to his wife, the mother of his children?  What's the motive?  Even facing divorce, what justifies a man to be really nasty to a good woman?

Why does a man batter?  We read horror stories all the time about how severely some women get battered.  Some get the physical abuse and one day you may see your friend wearing sunglasses and a sweater in the middle of summer.  Or maybe your friend just suddenly isn't seen in public anymore.

Sometimes we are too late and we don't see underneath her mask.  She either doesn't dare to leave or she's tied to him out of an insane love for him even though he does wrong.

Other times it is emotional abuse which can and is far more damaging that the physical.  No abuse is good.  Neglect is another type of abuse.  Negativity can as well be abusive.

If a woman can see that she needs to leave, help her in any way you can.  If she will let you.  Some women don't feel comfortable when a friend or a neighbor reaches out to offer help.

Some batterers, most are highly manipulative, twist the truth to their advantage, get their way always, and can and do make a woman look really silly.  Not okay.  Often they are controlling, some take away the woman's privilege to handle her own money, limit her talking to her friends and family.

Sometimes a batterer doesn't realize what he is doing and it is possible for them to try and change his ways.  But, it is up to him to realize he is in the wrong.  Other times, they know what they are doing and they just don't care.

They maybe think they can see a way out and they'll do it until they get their way, at the tragic expense of a girlfriend, lover or a wife.

They need to stop.  Not just for the wife but for the children.  If its all about winning, there's never a happy ending unless he can stop and see that in the long run, it hurts the children more than the wife.

And as parents, who should be our top priority?  The children always come first.  No matter what.

Well, enough of the heavy.  It's sunny today, I can feel the warmth on my back, I live in the moment.  That's all one can do.  My other skirt is just about done and I'm making headbands for my girls and some of their friends.  I probably embarrassed them yesterday singing some hip hop songs.  They had a friend visiting and they put me on speaker phone.

I looked through some food magazines and brought them back for new ones.  Too many good recipes to make my mouth water!!!  Especially any dessert.  That's where you wish you had all the ingredients in your pantry, like now.

I was in the library watching a little baby just learning to walk and she took to me very quickly.  I let her hold a yarn ball and found myself playing peek a boo, which was light years ago for me.

We all remember a baby's first steps, one of the first milestones in a happy life.  Too bad we can't go back, but our teens won't allow it.

My Mom always used to say, "Don't ever wish your time away.  Every age is wonderful.". Not quite sure if I got the last part right exactly how she said it, but its a universal feeling.

I think I must have said to her that I could hardly wait for my kids to be older.  I might have been in the diaper phase where the kids were not as independent as they became.

She had a wonderful wisdom about things and not a day goes by that I don't miss her.

Deep down she meant that every part of life should be embraced, cherished for what it is and don't wish it away as it glitters before our eyes and is gone and onto another part of life.  Thank God for memories.

Even growing older, should be a beautiful thing.  I admire any older person for the fact that they are older, wiser and have led a full life.  Nobody wants anyone to die at any age, but its a known fact its accepted a little better when someone dies of older age.  We know they've been lucky to have a full life.

My mother was taken at 54.  I thought it was 53 but my Dad reminded me of the age.  Practically half a life.  Twelve years ago and three days before my daughter was born.  She had said be lucky you've had me for 33 years.

And more recently, a cousin lost his wife of even younger and leaves behind younger children.  I hate Cancer of any kind!!!!!  I wish there was a cure.

Living in the moment is really all we have.  Down to peeling an orange.  I think one of my Mother's favorite books was All things Big and Small.  Not sure if I have the title right.  I think there were a few of these books.

Sometimes, my oldest daughter reminds me she can see my gray hair which is finally truly coming in gray.  It was blond highlights for a long time.  She then asked me if I would get it colored.  Her gramma colors hers.  Every time I respond, I'm growing older gracefully.  Or I like my natural color.

Not that I'm against any woman dying their hair to feel younger, its fine.  It's a choice women have a right to make.  It looks good, but I fall into the bracket of women who just let it gray naturally.

And someday, my hair will be white and I will love it too.  Outer beauty is skin deep, while inner beauty lasts forever.

Which is what all good memories are made of.  Nobody can ever take your memories away.  Your kids will always love you no matter what and vice versa.  Well, later on I've got some writing books to read.  Funny, I donated them to the library and I find myself borrowing some again as I would like to read them with a fresh mind.

And, I'm waiting for that wonderful, much needed move to a new place so I can get my life back to normal without harassers in it.  This gal needs to get writing my novels again.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted September 17, 2013

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