Why it is Good to have Notebook by Your Bed

When your sleeping and you wake up with an awesome idea, don't you just love it?  I decided to sleep a little longer today.  I was always waking up at 5:30am and slowly getting ready to go to the kids house before they went to school.

Now that I'm not going to be doing that, and I am at my house during the day, I have been waking up at 6:30 or a little earlier.  Today I decided to sleep in until 7:30 am.  It's been a long time for that, and I probably needed my beauty sleep.

While I was just about to wake up, I thought up my last line of the novel, Five Women, One Man and started laughing.  All I can say is it could very well be a surprise ending to the novel and quite funny!  No revealing!

And of course the novel isn't even started.  I've got the title and a rough draft of a first page that I haven't typed in yet.  Later.  Not my priority at this point.

Made my second dish for the Soup, Pasta and Crackers book last night and was photographing the food and the process.  I think that later, I will start searching for other pretty dishes for the photographing etc...  other useful things for display.

I also want to go online later and read up on photographing food.

I texted my sister last night about this and told her to just call me, Julie and Julia.  She texted me back, Okay Julie and Julia, we're going to see Rise of the I'm forgetting the last part, Guardians?  It was funny.

Not sure what the next meal is going to be, but I'm going to type in the first two later today and work on what pictures I want to use.  

I'm up to 148 in The Glorious Money Tree and got in a good amount yesterday, found a cousin out west on FB which was cool and discovered more library books to bring home and some movies.

I watched Take the Lead this morning which was really good.  Better than the two Netflix movies that I watched last night.  I think I've got to go into Netflix and push one I really want to watch at the top of the list.

Well, I guess not too much else right now.  I'm going to go on to the novel and the recipe book for the rest of the day.

And a trip somewhere to get my online fix.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 30, 2012

Last night's delicious pasta!  And second in my book.  I think next time I make this I would use frozen spinach instead of canned, but it still tasted fine with that.  I think I am going to have the recipes go in order as to when I make them.  So probably next on the list should be a cracker recipe.

I probably should rearrange the kitchen to accommodate the lighting.

Why Waste the Last Days of the Year

Just a few short days to the New Year and how will you spend those last few days, hours, minutes and seconds of your precious time is truly what you make of it.

One can either waste it on idle arguments, fighting with loved ones, not doing what you had hoped you could do or you can start now and say you will no longer be this way and try to make amends.

Turning over a new leaf is just about to happen and why wait until the New Year to do it?  Start now while you are living in the moment and don't waste it on the negatives that are destined to drag you down.

Positive is the absolute best motto to have as a ritual in your life. Looking forward and making the best of any situation is vital to a great outlook on the future.  Believe me, the New Year holds lots of wonderful things, along with the things that are going to appear to turn our worlds in turmoil.

Here's to a New Year full of great things.  My January is going to be tough, but by the end of the month when those criminal neighbors are out of my life, then I can begin to completely move on and celebrate.  Jump for joy.

I don't dare to list on Ebay at the moment too much as they seem to be determined to find out my user name so they can try to find out where I someday move to.  I'm here for now, but I don't plan to make this place my final resting place.  But it's a cute little apartment for me right now.

I love being back in my studio.  I took some more time today to organize.  I like to wake up early, have my coffee and pop in a movie while I knit something.  Then I will usually come in to start my time typing.  I might decide to pull a late night tonight.  Not an up all night, but later than last night.

I finished Brooklyn's ruffle scarf.  It came out really cute.  I took some pictures.  Was having trouble uploading them as that part of laptop might be going.  I'm waiting for a new attachment to see if that will make the uploading better.

It's being finicky.  Yesterday, I put it in and immediately it gave me all the options and today it's not recognizing it's in there.  Oh well, it's bound to work sometime.  Went on to start typing this post and surprisingly after a little bit, the flaky laptop recognized that I have my options so was able to upload my photos!  Hooray!

Organizing is lots of fun.  I'm enjoying spending a little time organizing my things.  What bothers me though is that these neighbors seem to know all kinds of things inside my apt that nobody should ever even begin to know.  That really bothers me, yet I can't find anything.  They seem to know where I am putting everything and are up there talking about what I am doing and sometimes they are yelling about it.  It makes me so mad.  I'm a quiet person living alone and they just shouldn't know anything and nothing I do inside my apt should be none of their business.  Violated!!!  I'm at the library now, where I feel like I've got my privacy.  Any normal neighbor would know nothing, yet these no good people know everything.  And I'm worried about being around during their last days.  If I was on a second story, I wouldn't worry so much.  I'm writing some of this here as I want them broadcasted, should they actually follow through and kill me.  I would want the police to nail them and give them the death sentence.  Heaven forbid should it happen.  

It just makes me so angry that they should want to attempt to suppress my life, when I've got all kinds of endeavors I want to accomplish and more important, my children shouldn't be without a mother.

Well, I'm looking at some cool knitting books and will decide which ones I want to take home.  And some movies.  Sweeney Todd, Take the Lead and Water for Elephants.  I feel like watching the last one again and haven't seen the others.

I'm kind of excited about some other types of books I would like to publish.  My soup book would be fun to do.  Maybe call it something like Soups, Pasta and Crackers from My Home to Yours.  I'm an experimenter in the kitchen.  I'm not like my Mom or sister who always would follow the recipe to the exact instructions.  I just can't not add!!!!

And it's funny, before you know it I've added about fifteen to twenty ingredients to some of the soups!  

And I would at some point like to write a knitting book of some of my patterns I have created.  I'm not really sure what I would call it yet.

Pretty little knits from me to you

Headbands, Scarfs, Bracelets and more

Knitting Wish List

Well, just some ideas!!!

But the novel is the priority of course and the book on Mom.  Then there's Good Girls, Bad Girls and Red Ribbons, the sequel to Black Roses that I shouldn't leave in the dust.

That's me, all kinds of projects.  I had a 3D instructor in college who once said something about all kinds of things going on in my 3D pieces, projects got mentioned I believe.  I can't remember his exact words.  At the time, I remember it was kind of a harsh criticism, yet now I just think that is me and I'm going with it.

And they all will eventually get done, as I am dedicated to it and I do come back to everything.  Well, most everything.  There are a few craft projects that have gotten thrown out.

Have you ever tried to make something, say a Pinterest idea or some other craft you never tried and you just have to attempt and see if it's going to work for you?  I know I have many times over the years and certain things just didn't work out.  Gone down the drain, and it just wasn't vital for me.

But, back to the last days of this year.  I believe we are almost down to two. I guess we just make the most of the time we have left this year and not try to worry if not everything gets done.

I did work more on a new chapter to the novel last night, spent some time texting with my boyfriend, and called my sister and chatted.  Quill got half watched.  Oh well.  Nurse Betty was cute though.

I know soon, I will have lots of time to devote to the writing.  I think during this vacation, while I have moved my craft things, etc... from the kids house, I've been taking the time to organize my apt and get it looking the way I like it.

That's important too in a work space.  You need to have good surroundings to be inspired to do our work.  I'm an Ebay seller, and writing really is the most important work, and then knitting.  Knitting would be more of a hobby, but if I can sell that stuff too, awesome.

Enjoyed talking with a good friend today who shares my interest in knitting, so am looking forward to definitely doing some craft shows with her next year.  By then, I will be ready.

And, I'm sending her the pattern for the ruffle scarf as her grand daughter wanted her to make her one.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 29, 2012

Font looks a little different as I copied from my Evernote.

I'm going to make more of these.  They look awesome.  I think I will try to make the pattern different this time, so I can include it in my knitting book.

Winter Wonderland is Here to Stay

Now we are definitely in a winter wonderland for sure.  The worst part was trudging through it.  I got up a little later this morning, got ready and went out to scrape off the car.  No boots, and this is when I cringed and wished I had some.  My shoes have been wet today, and tomorrow, I will be switching to a different shoe.  A vinyl one that won't get as wet.  

At least it is the fluffy pretty snow.  I would rather dust off the car with it just flying off the car.  It's no fun scraping the hardened icy snow off the car.

However, today there was already a good amount and my legs of course were covered.  And finally with a cleaned off car, I headed over to the kids house for the day.  When I got there, my ex husband was shoveling the driveway and after a few minutes I drove in no problem. 

Talking about messy roads today though.  But I will say that once I was inside and warmed up, the snow was so beautiful falling down all day.

And it's probably still snowing.  And I got back to a really messy parking lot as nobody plowed.  I'm remembering one blizzard we had last year and I was determined to get out and make it over to my kids house for the day.  I think that day we must have easily had a foot or more of snow early in the morning and it was the heavy stuff.  I had taken a shovel and finally after a while, I got out and was on my way.  I almost thought I was still not going to get out.

Today, was fun.  I worked a little on a pretty ruffle scarf for little Brooklyn.  Checked my listings on Ebay and just have to play the waiting game there, just like playing the waiting game with getting these criminal neighbors out.  Another neighbor told me it isn't going to be until the end of January.  Which at least warns me and I may try to find elsewhere to sleep for that last weekend.  Or actually during the week, which means I will be there.

I got more recipes in the book.  A pumpkin pie I did a few weeks ago and I got that pie picture in for it.  Really cool.

I'm kind of doing the sections and getting the recipes in, with little stories for each recipe.  Later on, I can tweek it to look really good.

This afternoon, I also got trying some of the free photo editing sites again.

Befunky, Pizap and Pixlr.  Pixlr and Befunky may be my favorites.  Definitely Pixlr.  Seems like you can do a lot more with Pixlr.  More things to choose from.

Befunky lets you do a bunch of things too, but when you want to do some of the other things it makes you pay so much a month.  I'm not sure if I am ready to do that.

But, I took my Shay doll picture today and did a bunch from that one, one of Julia, one of my niece, Jessicca and a collage of all the female cousins.  I also did a few of Emilie Parker, that really beautiful close up picture.  I added leaves and one of my flower pictures as a transparent overlay.  I guess that's going to have to satisfy me as I still don't know how to do the overlays in my photo software.

It came out pretty, so I posted it on their public FB page for Emilie.

So this was what I wrote at my apt last night.  Today, has been a good day so far.  I didn't have to feel like waking up and getting right over to my kids house so I took a few extra minutes to sleep.  I decided to start locking my bedroom door last night, which now they are harassing me that they're going to break in through my bedroom windows.  Right.

I had at first had to deal with the cats wanting in and out.  That was kind of funny.  At first it was a game, and then I didn't have to get up as much.  They got used to when I open the door, they either come in or out.  Works well.

I watched The Man Who Knew too Much with Jimmy Stewart this morning.  That was good.  I was very pleased to hear Doris Day sing K Cera Cera....    

I remember growing up and my Mom would play her music.  My sister and I would be in the living room listening to it.  It's just a song that has stuck with me and is a strong memory of my Mother.  I remember she was looking at both of us as we listened to it, perhaps wondering what we would be.  I'm sure she knew we were both pretty, not one prettier than the other.  Mom was like that, not picking favorites and its the way I am too.

While watching the movie, I knitted more on Brooklyn's scarf.  It's about half way done, I think.  She's little so it doesn't have to be super long.  I want to make more of them.  Those ruffle scarves are gorgeous.  I'm thinking that I could also add my own details to another one.  Bobbles.  Just call me Bobble girl.

Then I started organizing some more.  I just want to have everything have it's spot instead of bits and pieces of things belonging elsewhere.  Like the kitchen gadgets don't need to be in the studio.

Then, I decided to get the camera going and I did a photo session.  Took some pictures of my soup I made last night.  Thinking I could possibly create a soup book too of my concoctions.  More FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

I want to later today work on getting more recipes in.  It would be really nice to get all of her recipes in I want to use for the book and then the stories can evolve, the pictures etc.. the format.  I'm at the library now using their internet and am going to take a look at some of the page set ups to get some ideas for the formatting.

I love soup in the winter time.  I may also spend some time with my boyfriend this weekend.  However, due to all this snow, he has a lot of clean up around town on his agenda for the next few days.  Perhaps for the new year.  

I'm going to enjoy this weekend regardless, but it would be nice to spend the New Year with someone.  And I am just excited about getting my apt the way I want it, and it was nice to actually do some things in my studio today.

And this weekend definitely has to be spent writing more chapters in The Glorious Money Tree.  I've really got no excuse not to be able to spend more time on this stuff now.  I've got my laptop reign back and while they are in school I will be able to really focus on this.

Jennifer

Copyrighted December 27 and 28, 2012

Today's soup.  I'm thinking of later during the yard sale season, I will be on the search for different bowl patterns for photographing the food.

I had to move the coffee pot to this outlet this morning.  The other one must have a fuse out.  And the landlord has to fix that light.  Whoops. I probably should have moved that out of the picture!  My Bad!!!

My second cup of coffee!  The first one was weak as I put too much dry milk powder in it.  Milk is on the grocery list!!

  

I brought this desk back from the kids house.  Mollyanne didn't want hers and my ex husband had it out in the garage so I confiscated it and a small little piece of furniture you could put just a vase or a plant on.  I love having all my knitting books in one spot now and I could also use it to write on.  I added the knob as it was missing one.

 

My Mom's old lipstick holder I always loved, her little sewing basket and a cute little doll my Aunt Joanna from out west got me one year.

Luna on my coffee table, redone.  I love it now with all updated pictures on it.

My Nana's vanity in the studio.  It has a chair with it in the lower left.  I love baskets.  This piece of furniture will someday be one of the girls.  I think it also was my Mom's when she was growing up.

More of the studio.  I draped my Mom's old picnic quilt on the table.  The other side is patchwork, but it is falling apart.  Hmm.... that probably means a sewing project some day.

These are my two card tables I have set up where I'm going to usually have my laptop.  I decided to bring back my laptop and electronics and camera.  I can't make those neighbors deprive me of my things because they are threatening to take it after they supposedly kill me.  It's harassment plain and simple.

  

My pile of cookbooks. My Grammy gave me the Joy of Cooking when I got my first apartment and the older Joy of Cooking I brought back from my Aunt Harriet's camp that we had after she passed away.  And I am a Martha Stewart fan. 

  

My statue I painted on the table.  This picture came out different than her actual coloring.  Her shirt and headband are more of a lime green color.

Raggeddy Ann is starting to look a little dirty, but well loved.  I would be afraid to wash her as she would probably fall apart like BunBun did.  Thinking of BunBun, she's hiding out in the trunk of my car, and I guess I should dig her out and put her in a nicer spot.

Yarn.  I would say I have enough yarn to last me a long time.  Addicting.

Who is Shopping Day after Christmas?

Christmas is officially over for yet another year and we look forward to the new year approaching, but who has decided to go out shopping today?  I'm sure the stores are filled with people yet again, but today is National Return and Exchange Day and those lines will be filled with unhappy customers waiting to be pleased with either a refund or exchange with hopes of getting what they ultimately want.  Something else.

I was never one of those people to return something after the holidays.  I've only had to return something once in a blue moon if I bought the wrong thing by accident.  Like buying the wrong printer ink, that sort of thing.  I've never needed to return an outfit because it didn't fit or that I didn't like a Christmas present and wanted something else.

Not to say that it never went to Goodwill or winded up in a yard sale at some point down the road.  That has surely happened with things I have no longer had a use for.  We all need to clean up our clutter.

But, since I got married and grew up, I just never wanted to be one to shop on the day after Christmas.  I guess it would be my memories of shopping with my Mom and Nana the day after Christmas for my childhood years.  We had to go along as we couldn't be left home by ourselves.  Mom and Nana would bring us along.  We would wait with them for what seemed like forever, while they shopped Jordan Marsh for their Christmas cards marked down, Christmas wrap marked down, ornaments marked down and on and on.....

Of course Grampy would come along too and we would sit and wait patiently with him and sometimes impatiently.  Our highlight of those days were riding the escalator and the elevator and drinking from the water fountain.  And finally we would get to go home.

I don't really like to shop at the stores if I can help it.  I don't like to venture into Walmart very much unless if there is something I really need there.  Like, I am going to have to go this next month for some new curtain rods for my curtains.  I ordered new curtains for my living room and studio to replace the sheets I nailed up.

I want to be able to open up and let some light in during the day, seeing as I will be there more often now, that I won't be at my ex husband's house during the day while the kids are at school.  So, I want to be able to have light shed into my apt so I can take my nice pictures of my set ups and other things.  Getting excited to make full use of my studio again and want my apt to look like it is actually lived in and not just a place to sleep at night.

Change is good.  And get these criminal neighbors gone will make it even better.  I'm just going to keep calling the cops and calling the cops, documenting everything before myself or someone else gets hurt or killed.  Every phone call has to get documented.  And it's going to keep these people messing with me from doing it.  They know darn well they will get nailed should anything ever happen to me because of their actions.  They would have to be fools to know that they would get 20 years, life or death sentence by doing so and my four children do not deserve that.

It's already been since October, so I am thinking it can't be too much longer before they are gone.  There's got to be a breaking point as they've been evicted.  Meaning out the door.

I've been saving all my documents, writings and artwork and photography in other places.  I just feel the need to protect my stuff, should someone decide to smash my laptop.

I'm even thinking of getting my novels on here as drafts just to save them here too.  That's a thought.  Was smart and have been sending things to all my emails too and other places, documented with the cops, friends, family, you name it.  There would be an endless trail that they wouldn't be able to erase.  Let them try.

I'm just thinking positive in this tough situation.  That's the best I or anyone can do in a hard situation.  Drown out the bad, think of the good and try not to let it get to you.  Movies, my art and writing, my children, family, friends and on and on....

I'm not going to let this disrupt my life, but I will say it is extremely hard being in the middle of it.  They aren't nice people, quite nasty to be right true to what they are.  Awful, awful people.  Why is the world filled with people like them.  They didn't even looked like they went anywhere yesterday as I went back for a little bit to deliver a chair to my studio.

Anyway, back to shopping, the White Sales must be coming up next.  I have been shopping online a little bit.  I think nowadays many people enjoy shopping right from the internet, clicks of buttons, coffee next to them, eating good food, not wasting any gas and time to get from here to there.

In this day and age, what we wouldn't give to just be able to relax as much as possible, save our gas money as it is going out the door in astronomical amounts.  Although, recently it seems like it's gone down a little bit compared to a short while ago when even the cheapest gas was $3.77 a gallon or more.

Is FACEBOOK going to be the future of our seeing our family?  Could you imagine the day when it's going to cost us $7 or more a gallon?  Distance may someday not be an option.

And we also have to know when to stop shopping.  But we can't resist these sales especially when we know we are tackling the things on our lists.  Birthdays coming up, Valentines Day, Easter......  It always seems that there is something we need to get for someone and it's great when we can find a sale on things and peg away at that.

I've already tackled this and gotten a jump on that for next year, so when the time comes, I am pretty much done.  At least for the things earlier in the year.  It is also fun to get things closer to the time too.  They always change in what they want for their birthdays.  And just when you think you got them done, then you stop and think well, maybe this is going to end up being your Christmas present instead.

Oh well, but it is fun to get great deals and save our money too in the process.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 26, 2012

This is one I think I took two summers ago in 2011, but still love it.  And we deserve roses every day in any shape or form.  Enjoy!!!

Reflections of the end of a year and the dawning of the new

How many times have we come to the end of the year and realized that we really did come a long way?  Or maybe we didn't travel as far as we wanted to.  Perhaps we wandered down other paths that weren't meant to be followed, however, when we did there was a discovery of something simply amazing.

We were meant to find those buried paths.  The ones underneath the pine needles we stepped on when we were meant to feel the moss beneath our feet or perhaps the hard cement, the dirt road, the well loved cobblestone path that everyone loves to live by.

There were also the thorns that we uncovered along the way, trying to drag us down and as they tried to sink deep within, we discover that all is not lost and we prevail.  Overcome all obstacles as good always wins out over any evil.  All the pain, sorrows, dilemmas, and mishaps all fall down into a well and we leave it there to dry up and stay in the past.

Sometimes things are too hurtful and there will always be a void.  I think the hardest thing about Christmas and the holidays is when we have a loved one who isn't here anymore and we miss them most at this time of year.

I had my moment today, when I thought of my Mom.  My niece, Savannah gave me a little piano music box and it played the musical melody, Memories.  What a beautiful song, and as I played it about five times this morning, I thought about her and that she loved this song too.  And I think every one's angels are beside them now, as mine is with me.  All the people I have lost over the years.  I get older, they got older and life happened.  We lose people.

And we all should take a moment of our day today to pray and know that Sandy Hook angels are watching over all of us.  And I thought for a moment of Snowflakes for Sandy Hook today and that mine and Julia's are among them to touch them and heal their sorrow in this time when it is needed most.

And I think of how now Christmas is almost over and there will be the very short days until the new year begins.  I always feel a small tinge of sadness as it comes to an end.  I also think of what things I need to accomplish in these last few days.  Years ago, I used to feel that I needed to set out to do so many things in these last hours of an old year ready to ring in the new, and then I have now come to decide whatever I get done gets done and what does not, stays waiting.

A new year is waiting in the wings, ready with new roots to sprout, words to grow, things to live by, thoughts, hopes and dreams to carry out and see us through into another new year.

Thank God for no End of the World and my son won't be sitting on the roof top with his friends blowing away the aliens and zombies.  He will be later on combing the beaches with his new metal detector and hopefully will find something that those cheap kid ones would not.  Ha ha.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 25, 2012

My Mom's Cats Mug.  Julia wanted it so I decided to take my pictures of it in case it someday breaks, I will have nice pictures.  She got this on a trip to England with my Uncle Gary and my Nana.  She loved seeing the play.  And the trip held great memories for her.  

Below is an old pair of mittens I made for Sean when he was a little boy.  Mind you, he was coming off the bus when I was taking this picture and his baby hats were lying in the snow.  I'm sure he was embarrassed, and I laughed.  Ah.... part of Mom's job is embarrassing her children over and over again, and I will gladly do it if it's going to give me a fun laugh too.  As long as I don't painfully embarrass them!!!!  Ha ha ha.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!  Ah... a beautiful day compared to what I had to listen to later last night.  Didn't get my wish for the criminal neighbors to be gone and had to call the cops three times on Christmas Eve of all nights, but I was home alone listening to death threats and I'm going to keep calling every single time and get it documented.

But enough of that....

This morning, was great.  I woke up to my HTC tablet's alarm going off.  It's to the sound of a harp.  6 am.  I fed Luna and Ella and gave them one of their Christmas treats.  A different kind of wet food to go with their dry.  I took one whiff of it and am so hoping I don't see it barfed up on the floor somewhere as it's a different brand than I normally give them.

Then, I got dressed in my closet of all places.  I feel I have to resort to that for fear there really is a camera.  They know things nobody should know.

After preparing myself, I knew that my kids were probably still unwrapping or perhaps done.  But, I decided to take about fifteen to twenty minutes to organize my studio.  I opened up my extra card table and started to move some things around and I pulled out some of my pretty fabrics to drape over the table.  One is one of the quilt piece photography backdrops I made earlier in the year.  I like that it covers the whole table and I can hide things underneath.

I pulled out my broken but glued Lay Me Down to Sleep plaque and hung it on a shelf.  My Mom had given it to me and one to my sister when we were little.  Mine had broken and she glued it for me.

Then, I headed over to the kids house.  My smile got so bright when I approached the porch as I could hear Jake inside saying, "Wow!"  And I went in and the fun began.  My oldest, Sean, got a metal detector (not the cheap little kid ones).  He had the kid ones years ago.  So he was moving that around.
Jake got a new DVD player as his other one was breaking.  And he was excited about a toy robot he got.
Mollyanne got a new Ipod touch and of course Santa delivered the laptop to Julia.

Okay, now I am in heaven as yes, I have full control over my laptop again.

Then, I called my family later and when I told my brother about Sean getting the metal detector, he laughed and asked if he had checked his head for metal yet!  Ha ha ha!  Too funny.  One of the best laughs for the day.

The other one came later, when Mollyanne took pictures of each of us with her Ipod Touch and then we all turned into dancing elves.  What a funny thing to see our faces on these bodies and Mollyanne's was break dancing!!!

One kid got a magic eight ball.  My sister told me two of her kids woke up at 11pm somewhere in there and she was thankful that they went back to bed.  Santa didn't get caught holding the bag!!!

Earlier this morning, I saw on the news about the snowflakes for Sandy Hook that Julia and I made snowflakes for.  They had a brief segment for it.  I imagine there will be more on it closer to the time, as the deadline for sending them is Jan. 12th.

No big Christmas dinner today, but I made an awesome beef stroganoff yesterday that is my yummy meal for the day.

Some years, Santa is on a budget.

I'm excited to really organize my apt again.  Everything that was at my kids house is pretty much back in and I've got some organizing to do when I feel like it.  I brought back a chair this morning to my studio so I can use my laptop in there.  The other chair is propped up against my back door.

And my ex husband had my daughter's nice writing desk I got them one year out in the garage so I'm bringing that back.  Mollyanne wants a different desk in there for her stuff eventually, and my ex is changing things around for when his girlfriend moves in next week with her daughter.  He was painting her room yesterday getting it ready.  It's going to be purple.  I bought her some coloring books for Christmas.  It's kind of fun to buy for a little girl again.  She's four.

And Jake loves his new room downstairs.  It's bigger, and I love that it's closer to everyone when we are in the living room.  So now, there is more interaction again and we've been going in to watch movies and listen to songs with him.  Makes all the difference for him where he is Downs.

My kids got me chocolates, bath stuff, and a pretty bracelet.  It was funny seeing the bracelet as at first, I thought they had made it as some of the beads looked like some of the charm stuff I had bought earlier in the year.

And of course my Ferrero Rocher chocolates are going to be gone by the end of the day with the help of Mollyanne and Julia!  There's always an ulterior motive for buying Mom chocolates!!!!!  And I've told them the Lindt balls are off limits!!!!  Mine!!!!!

And I surprised myself by not hopping on my laptop earlier today!  I finished my nieces legwarmers and have been working on a hat for their brother.  It's already half done and I started it last night.  I think I am on the decrease part now.  Olive green and maroon red.

And I finally decided to start selling some more things on Ebay.  Still not lots right now, but in the Spring time it will pick up once I have more things to sell again.  I'm selling a large digital telephoto lens for Nikon D-90 cameras.  It was one I got used on Amazon last year and I never used it and Sean didn't use it much either.  Very heavy and awkward to use, so I am hoping to get some money back for that.

And as I clean and organize the apt. I will find things.  I'm predicting a little yard sale this spring too to get rid of extra dishes and things I wouldn't sell on ebay.

Then yesterday, I was taking advantage of the sales on Kohls.  I ended up getting my girls their birthday present that I was planning to get them next year, and there was an awesome deal on little digital cameras and where I got two of them, the price decreased even more!!!  Massive savings, outfits for kids on clearance, new curtains to cover my living room and studio instead of the make shift sheets that are nailed in.

I want to make it livable, as these people will be closer to being on their way out and it's very hard to find a new place for me to move to, so I'm foreseeing myself at my place for a while.  And now that my things are back in, two bedrooms is about right.

And a light at the end of the tunnel, rekindling things with my ex boyfriend and I am taking things slow as we start fresh.

I got an I love you as I left his place last weekend, which deserves new beginnings.

There can't be bad in the world forever.  And last night or actually very early this morning, I told the female cop that in one hour my kids are waking up to Santa and that my kids don't deserve to have their mother get killed.

Not that it will happen, God forbid.  And if it does, the cops will have everything to nail them.  100% my neighbors in 4A.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 25, 2012

And the day is still young, will finish my nephew's hat, and I found a pattern for a pretty ruffle scarf I want to try, and of course the chapters.

I plan to bring my electronics back to my place too, as the doors will be locked and they shouldn't be able to break in to get them.  Not while I am there, and I plan to bring them with me if I am going to be gone for the weekend.  Especially while they are still there.  They seem to know where I put all of my things.  It's not funny.

This was a special goose egg that my Aunt Sheila's neighbor made for me and my sister one year.

An ornament that my Mom's neighbor made for me.  Every Christmas she would bring each of us an ornament for the tree.  I've got a Precious Moments Bell from 1990 from her.

Okay, yesterday, I finally decided to pop that Jiffy Pop that my ex husband had bought and nobody was touching it for a long time.  I think it was broken and popcorn haywire.  Worse than the devil popcorn popper.

Some of the red velvet crackle cookies.  Yummy!!!  Julia helped herself to a ramekin dish of the batter!  Good lord and hello My Pal Sal.  It's a good thing it is once in a great while.

Molasses cookies I made.  This made a lot, so I brought some to my old neighbors and some biscotti for my friend.

This is part of the aftermath of today.

Our snowflake drawings for Sandy Hook.  Not the best pictures of them as my larger camera needed to be charged.

Connecticut's Angels Will Forever Be in our hearts

Yesterday, I was in the living room of my kids/ex's house just doing my normal thing and waiting for Days Of Our Lives to come on.

And then the horrific news came across the screen and I felt blown away.  At first, I was just thinking that it was going to be Obama or something normal, but we all usually know when we see Breaking News appear in place of everything else that something has just happened.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I began to cry.  My children came home, my ten year old, Julia who is probably one year older than those innocent children, and my eleven year old, Mollyanne came in and their new little friend, Brooklyn.  Immediately, I said, "What channel do you girls want it on?"  And I switched it to Animal Planet.  I didn't want them seeing or hearing that.

But, I'm sure it will get talked about when they get to school on Monday.  Their teachers will talk about being safe.

As I was reading an article about it today, and a few of my blogger friends writing about it, I just began to really weep.  All I could think about was all those innocent children gone, 20 to be exact.  And the six adults who were probably the bravest people that they could ever be.  I think their main concern was making sure that everyone remain safe and they put themselves into the line of fire to do so.

I just couldn't imagine all those kids hiding in closets, huddling in corners, in the bathroom with the bookshelf blocked and their door locked and the teacher who stayed in the classroom to make sure nobody could come in and harm a hair on their heads.  And the kids just saying all that they want is for Christmas to come.

There is absolutely nothing joyous about this evil act of violence.  We don't know yet what this guy's motive was, but whatever the motive, it was just unnecessary and if it could be undone, we would make it so.

There was a hero in there that turned on that intercom as if it hadn't been done, who knows how many more lives could have been lost.  All I can say is that there are millions of thanks to all the brave human beings who dared to act to save themselves and others.  Young and older.

This reminds me of the local shooting in Essex Junction at the elementary school where my kids had all gone to school and the loss of Alicia Shanks, a well loved teacher and the mother who lost her life.  I'm drawing a blank on her name for the moment, but her daughter was the one the guy was coming after and he killed her mother.  I think I was so close that I heard the gunshots going off at her mother's house.  Yet, the lost was not as near horrific as this.

However, no killing is good at all.  I just put myself in the place of those children this morning as they were led out of the school and they were told to cover their eyes so they wouldn't see the slaughter of what had been acted out.  Isn't it bad enough that they have their memories, and yes, cover their eyes so they see no blood, no dead bodies covered with sheets.

This is going to be etched in their minds forever, they are not going to be able to forget it.  And for some there will be no sibling to play with, presents under the tree unopened, parents, families and friends grieving for their child who got stripped away from them.  Senseless is all I can say.  Little innocent children!!!!   Babies practically!!!!!!

What is this world coming to when we have to bury a child to a violent act like that?  A child who has just barely begun their journey into the world, a whole life was supposed to be ahead of them, the world should have been their oyster, all the hopes, dreams, goals, endeavors for their picking should have been their fate.

And now, their fate is a box that is lowered into the unfathomable ground beneath our feet that we walk upon, the air in our lungs, our hearts beating gently, the beautiful and glorious surroundings that comfort us and it just isn't fair that their spirits with their beautiful wings are now carrying to the heavens where they shouldn't have needed to go to for a long time to come.

Why?  And it could have been our children in another school?  I think we are all stopping now, and just being blessed that we have our children, living our lives, cleaning up after their messes, monitoring their fights and finding the peaceful joy of watching them sleep, loving their laughter and just thanking God that someone didn't take ours.

But, my heart goes out to the mothers and fathers who now don't have theirs.  I want you to know that even though we do not know you, we are praying that you can someday find some peace and happiness in this.  We know that you are hurting, grieving, wishing that you could hug them, kiss them just one more time.  We can't take away your pain, as it is there.  Your anger towards his evil, senseless act.  Be happy that he is dead as that is where he belongs.

We can only try to help you heal, find ways to overcome and move on.  It won't be easy.  Losing a loved one is never easy.  I lost my Mother to cancer eleven years ago.  Perhaps my Mom could be one of the angels among you giving you her blessing to that everything will someday, somehow seem a little better.  I can't tell you that the void will go away.  It's just the way of life that the void will stay with you for the rest of your waking moments.

But, trust in the fact that your child will forever be in your hearts and their spirit will always be with you.  You will not know it, but they will be there.  Perhaps they will be sitting silently next to you while you are drinking your coffee and they may make you spill it and laugh.  Hold their voices, their laughter, and the memories tight to your fast beating heart as they are a part of you and that will never go away.

It makes the horrific event I am going through seem less significant to what you are dealing with.  Yes, I am worrying about having my children be without a mother due to criminal neighbors who are giving me death threats.  Yet, for the moment I am somewhat comforted that they haven't acted on it yet.  But the scare is there that they could smash my windows and kill me.  But most likely they are messing with me.  But the scare is there that I wouldn't want them to be without a mother.

Yet, I am still here and yours are not.  And I really wish that you still had your babies with you.  They will always be your babies even in death.  And if I was to become an angel, just know that if I did, I would fly next to you and be by your side to give you some comfort.

But, I hope that doesn't happen to me.  And, I will also say that all the good in the world always overcomes all evil.  Stomp it into a shallow grave and toss it out to sea.  He will go unremembered for the most part, but yours will be remembered forever.

There will be candlelight rituals lit for their souls, nobody will let their precious lives die out.  Nobody will ever be able to take their place.

Just as here in Vermont, there is finally closure for Bill and Lorraine Courier as their lives were also taken away at random.  And that Isreal Keyes is where he belongs too.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 15, 2012

pinterest-f2f10 (2).html

Life is What We Make it

Do you lead a colorful life?  I believe that we all really do in different ways.  I had a FB friend a month ago say that I lead an interesting life.  I would have to agree with her.  Seems like so much has happened in my life and I still have a long way to go hopefully.  We honestly don't know when it is the end for any of us.

One would hope that we could remain on a path to an interesting life for many years to come.  There is mystery in tomorrow that hasn't yet arrived at our doorsteps and how we plan to utilize what we are given is up to us to make our lives what we want it to be.

And we need to be prepared for all these obstacles that try to knock us down, as they are plenty.  At least in my life there has been a horrific amount of it and there are days when I just wish that there could be more of those mundane moments.  My life for the last three months has been a roller coaster (one of fear) and I honestly don't want my life to end any time soon if I can help it.

And there have been lots of other times when life has thrown me for a loop.  I guess we just deal with things of all sorts the best we can.  But also most of us are thankful when we can close the door on things and leave it in the past.  Moving on is the best thing over all.

I may be seeing a happy ending soon and I am praying it is this weekend.  I am going away for the weekend to be with someone I haven't seen in a little bit and perhaps ringing in the New Year with happy thoughts of a good future.  And kiss the hooligan neighbors good bye.  I'm hoping it is this weekend that they are leaving.  They seemed to be shuffling lots of things around above me last night.  A good weekend to perhaps be out of the way in case of that 1% chance they mean what they are talking about.

Never a dull moment.  It always seems like there is something to give us more color to our lives and plenty of interesting moments.

If I would trade this situation, I would in a heartbeat, but really nobody would want it.  EVER.

I'm currently at my kids house and now am quite devastated by this Connecticut elementary school shooting. What a terrible thing to have happen so close to Christmas.  Little kids!  That's so awful.  I really feel for these parents who have to face that.  I felt some tears come to my eyes a little while ago just thinking of it.  And then I thought of the parents having to deal with a loss and perhaps looking at the presents they may have bought for their child.

I wish there was no crime in the world ever.  The best Christmas present that anyone can ever ask for is to pray for world peace.  But that will never happen.  There is always going to be chaos and peril, bad people in the world who should be locked up and throw away the key.  Death sentence, justice for innocent people.

I feel blessed today that I have been having a peaceful morning.  I've been thankful to have some good cups of coffee, warm soup and kale, snacks, and being about to putter around in the kitchen.  I made some chocolate pizelles with my pizelle maker for all the kids to munch on this weekend.  Wrapped my presents for my kids and their dad.  Poured out some peppermint patties for all the kids to get their hands on and the rest in the bag are ALL MINE!!!  Organized the pantry and found a small pile of things for Goodwill.

I finished my shawl yesterday.  I will try to put some pictures on soon.  Having some difficulty with uploading lately.  The computer is old and I'm now resorting to a Dynex reader to upload my stuff and yesterday it wasn't even recognizing that.  But will try again.  Could have just been the day.

It took a while to bind that shawl off as there were lots of stitches and I did a really tiny bobble bind off which took longer.

Now I am working on some legwarmers for my nieces as I told them I would.  Washed all my bangle bracelets today and one headband kind of shrunk a little bit too small to fit around any head!  It may end up as a baby toy!  For that grandchild ten years down the road.  One bracelet is now hanging on the tree.

My cats are being good with my little white tabletop tree.  Luna wanted to try to chew one of the branches but it hasn't been knocked over yet!  I should try to get a picture of her doing it.

And to add more colorful events to my life, earlier this week I started looking around for my little green underwater Fugi camera went missing.  I started looking for it on the day I had to charge the battery for my big camera.  Then I remembered that I had left it on the couch on Saturday as I was heading to get my car inspected.  And the girls had a little friend that was there after a sleepover.  Told my girls they couldn't use the big camera but they could use the little green one.  Then their friend said she wanted to borrow the camera.  I half listened as I was thinking of other things.  Then that was the last I saw of it.

Of course at the point I noticed it missing, I began to search the whole place, turning all my stuff upside down for it.  A day or so ago, I started asking the girls about it and they didn't know about it.  Then yesterday, I called their little friend's dad and politely asked if she had borrowed it and said I was just checking all angles and that I wouldn't be mad if she had possibly could have and also said it could still be around somewhere.  Borrowing is different from stealing. But I think in any situation if something is missing we have a right to ask questions to find out.  Not to accuse, but to ask just in case.  But it's always good to check all over the place before calling.  I wouldn't have called, but it was an expensive camera and on something like that and I had thoroughly checked everywhere I had to check that angle too.

And wouldn't you know, I arrive here this morning and low and behold there is the silly green camera sitting right on the couch.  So as soon as both girls woke up, I asked them which one of them put it there.  It was one of them and come to find out, the camera ended up that one of the girls must have taken it upstairs and forgot about what they did.  So after the girls were in school, I called up their friend's dad to tell him that it got found and I wished them a Merry Christmas.

I had another kid stealing incident in 2011 where the child did in fact steal my expensive 21 bottles of nail polish and the parents handled it badly and I vented probably more than I should have.  I had to involve the cops as they wouldn't give me back my nail polish when I arrived at their house.  I won't go into all the details, but the event did spark my Good Girls, Bad Girls novel in a minor way.  Well, only that the bad girl is a thief.  But in my novel there will be no stolen nail polish.

And so, I was thankful to see that little camera today and used it to take a few pictures of my pizelles as the big camera still needs to charge.

My kids will be home soon and their presents are hiding down in the laundry room.  Don't tell.  But they won't be reading this!!!!  Until a long time from now, most likely.

Under a towel!!!  I made use of the wrapping paper my Dad pushed on me last year.  He was trying to get rid of seven rolls my Mom had purchased when she was alive, 11 years ago.  The holidays are always hard when we wish she was still hear.

I think in these times, it's important to hold it together and think of all the good memories of loved ones who are gone.  But they remain in our hearts each and every day.  That is warmth to grasp our souls.  It's so important to keep their spirits alive.

And to end this post, how about your dreams?  I kind of had some nice ones this morning.  Dreaming of rekindling something and also thinking of my novels.  I kind of had those nice dreams of fame (not so much the fortune that usually comes with it although it would be nice) and recognition.  I've always desired that.  Not that it will ever happen, but it's a really nice thought for all of us to dream, pray and hope that good things will come.  But all I got thinking about in my dreams was of a nice little house to end my days and love, and filling the house with pretty things (most of which I already have) and those new pretty things to create.

I have pretty much everything I want.  I don't need a lot of the frivolous things.  Although I've been enjoying new yarn colors, new Hitchcock movies (although Rear Window is my favorite and yes, I will stick it to my butt, Martha).  Martha is my sister.  She told me quite a while ago to start watching Front Window and then when she heard I had watched it some more she made the other comment).  We call each other all the time and I am thankful that I have good siblings in my life.  Even though at some times, I want to just literally ring their necks!!  Not really, but you know how it is when your siblings tell you anything because they think they can!

For someone who doesn't have a sibling who has never EVER done something that you just want to scream, you haven't had a sibling yet.  Or you need one!!!  It's I guess all a part of the fun of leading an interesting life!!!  Because you always know that, the next moment you are going to be so happy on the phone with them again talking to them as if they are right next to you even though they are far away.  I wish mine lived closer because if she did, I would be calling her over to share coffee and treats, drag her shopping with me and everything else that makes a sister or a brother simply great.

I'm just at a point when I am starting to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel and the future could be really great.  I think the important thing in this life however we choose to live it is just to go with the flow of the moment as we never know what tomorrow may bring for us.

There is the road to Holland that is wonderful when you thought you wanted to go to Italy, and you got sidetracked and travelled to the place with the pretty yellow and red tulips.  I went there because of my Down Syndrome son, Jake and I've never looked back.  Yes, Italy would be nice to someday see, but it's not really important if one doesn't end up getting there.  I hear that a few streets away can be quite beautiful too.  Or what about that early morning walk that makes you look at everything in a new light?

Just to be alive should be on our agendas every day as there are so many people that are now angels living among us and to be breathing air into our lungs is so much more of a gift than anything else that can ever be under your tree this year.  All that is good too, but it's not what counts.  It's having loved ones around us to light a path to a brand new day.

A brand new year.  2013 is almost here.  Wow, 18 children, 8 adults.  That's terrible. What a sad, sad thing.  Let us all pray that 2013 brings these families and friends some healing and people to surround them with ways to get past this.  Finding a way to help in any way you can is so great.  No matter how big or small that it may be.

No task is too great or too small.  My Mom always used to say that we should be happy in everything we do, even down to the man peeling that orange."  Or something like that.  It's like the feather floating all over the place in Forrest Gump.  Nobody stops to think about the feather, but it too has a very important place in this world.

Everything and every one is here for a reason and we should all thank our lucky stars that we are here and not gone.  Live your life to the fullest.  I know I am.  Or at least the best that I can.  I make mistakes, you make mistakes, we all do.  But we learn and grow stronger from them.  We're all human.  We travel, change and grow to be the best that we can make our lives.  And do what makes you happy.

If you seek it, there are possibilities, trails to follow, forks in the road, rivers to go by and make meaning that is US.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 14, 2012

Are you the Novelist with a Plan or the Undiscovered Path?

When you set out to write your novel, do you find that you try to plan the whole thing out first?  Are you the one who creates your outline and sticks to it? 

Or are you the one who just has a somewhat idea in your head and you really don't have an inkling where your novel is headed?  The one who refuses to write a skeleton idea, and just hopes that the novel will write itself.  Are you the one who doesn't really have your characters knowing what they want?  And they have to go down a dark tunnel filled with surprises and you are just the type of person to pray that it all works out in the end and that you have a great story line that people are going to want to carry themselves through your journey with you.

I tend to be the person who just goes with the flow.  I do have a somewhat set out plan for my trilogy and my other novels.  But all the fillings in between the crust hasn't really been fleshed out yet.  And we sure know that the filling is the best part!!!!

As the writer, we know that the filling will be included.  After all a pie with no filling is really no pie.  And a story without a beginning, middle and ending doesn't really gel.  Also, a story without believable well loved characters is about as bland as a tuna fish casserole without the chips on top and all the yummy sauces.  You need a great story filled with your ideas if you are going to remotely have a chance of one that is going to hit the mark.

That's what we are all after, hitting the mark, coming up with an exceptional story that will be remembered for years down the road.  Make us millions and so that we can keep doing what we love to do.  Yes, that's it.

But, even if you are like me and you just go with the flow with your words, you still need to have some sort of outline, some sort of guidelines or a reference that is going to see you through to where you want your novel to go.

Don't be afraid of going back into it and reworking it.  Editing can be challenging but is really quite the fun part.  I always remember one of my old neighbor's teenage daughters saying that editing is the best part and the most fun.

When one is willing to look at the large body of work and decide to go back and see it in a new life, this is when we have freed ourselves to try something new.  To make the writing better than it ever was before is so absolutely satisfying that we just can't not do it.

We close the door when we aren't willing to tweak the story and change it somehow.  How many of us have written the first draft and felt satisfied with it to feel no need to go any further.  Yup.  First draft all typed up and yes, it's done.  In your dreams it's finished.  This is what we sometimes do back in Junior High or High School when we have written something we like.  We love it just as it is and we aren't willing to make something different.

When we grow up and become well seasoned writers, we unlock the mysteries of why we love to write and there it is right smack in our faces.  The pristine beauty of a novel we slaved over, processed and re invented into something it wasn't going to be but now is.  That is the glory.

And I really think it doesn't matter whether or not our novel is all planned out with no unpredictability or if it is a roller coaster with all these dips and bends that we didn't see coming.  Sometimes those are the best parts.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 13, 2012

As is the same with photography, the composition should be well thought out, but not always.  One's approach to anything has limitless processes and no one way is more right than the other.