Get to Know Your Dates first before diving in

how many of you are online looking for that perfect soulmate?  I'm one of them.  It's important to take things slow and be careful before taking any plunge and then find that you get hurt.  Well, you can get hurt of course even after the later dates too, we all know that.

But, when you are putting yourself back on the dating scene and are new and fresh, take your time.  Watch out for all these dating sites too as with any number of them, you could always encounter spammers of all sorts.  Nobody is immune to this.

I'm a little skeptical of Datehookup although I did have some good luck with that one well over a year ago, but unfortunately the relationships didn't last.  Hence, I'm back on the market (the grocery store!)  All good food of course of all kinds just like people of all colors of life.

Watch out for these sites when the men or women wanting to meet you are from far away states.  I received some from Florida, Texas and California among others.  Watch out for how they talk to you in their messages.  If they say you are the angel that their mother was talking about and all these other lines, run!!!!!  And if they have a wife that passed away, kids that died, they are starting fresh and their jobs take them overseas (importing/exporting), run........           I've dealt with these types of men on MySpace a few years back and you need to run far as soon as they start asking you for money etc.....  You will most likely never meet them.  None ever saw a penny.

And also, watch out for the local guys too.

Take it slow, chat of course.  Don't reveal all.  Please don't make yourself an open book.  Check out their profiles thoroughly to see if they will match you before you message them back.  Block some if they are vulgar.  I blocked one immediately.

Think about how far you want to possibly be travelling to them and them to you.

Also, a perfect first date is to meet them in a public place.  I like to meet them at somewhere like Starbucks for a coffee date.  That is a good way to meet them in the beginning.  

And now, if they seem to be pushy, want to immediately rub their legs against yours, kiss you and feel you up on the first date, by all means run!   I encountered this one.  I do have a second date with him planned today for a pizza lunch date in a public place, but after that, it's not going to continue to a third date.  

You can tell with some of them that they only want one thing, and good lord if they are pushy for this on the very first date, run far away.  I'm only doing the second one as I'm hungry for pizza and nothing more.

Some of these men are hoping that women are easy and they can get in their pants and then they are satisfied that they got what they want and then they move on.  Women, don't let them get their way.  Play a little hard to get.  Make them wait for it a little bit.

Tell them you want to get to know them first like I did.  Make sure that they are your friend first and if it is destined, then later on you can become more than friends.  But take your time, girls.

Yes, there is always a chance to get hurt and burned later on first, but at least you got to know them first as friends and didn't jump off that white plastic diving board and let them have their fill.  Tell them to take their bucket elsewhere if they just want that one thing that many men are guilty of.  Not bashing men though as it's not all men.

There are many men out there that really do want a relationship.  And it's just a fact of this new online dating scene that it sometimes takes all of us to go through meeting a handful of different people before we find the right fit.

We do need to find the match to our glove, but we also shouldn't go into it with a blindfold on.  Who knows what else you could encounter if you haven't opened up your eyes.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted December 4, 2012