The Authentic Life: marriage

Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Monday, January 30, 2012

I love myself enough to walk away

Divorce and separation are never an easy thing. But when you know that it isn't going to work out you really have to love yourself enough to walk away.

When things are really rough and you don't like how you are being treated, you need to look at things in perspective. Is it more harmful to me to stay in this marriage? Is it hurting me to stay?

Sometimes women stay in a marriage even though they are being treated badly. They think they love the guy and are willing to stay and keep getting shattered every day. They take the hurtful words and let them dig into their bodies and destroy their minds.

When do you know that you need to get yourself out? If you really love yourself, you will walk away before it is too late. A harmful, hurtful marriage will slowly eat at you and destroy you until there is no end and you will start to get the blurry eyes and you won't know what is good and what is bad.

Get out now.

When you have kids, it is harder to leave. Many women want to stay in the marriage for their sake. They want their children to be in an intact marriage. But it is no good for the children, when they can clearly see that Mom or Dad is unhappy. Unhappy parents make for unhappy kids. And an unhealthy childhood.

Leave. They will thank you for it. It means that you are just going to have new beginnings where you are going to be happy. That is what you want. Perhaps a new love. I did. I found new love and fresh starts. And my kids are happy for me.

And the thing you want to stress to your kids the most, is that when Mom and Dad get divorced it doesn't mean that you are going to love them any less. You want them to know that you are always going to love them. That hasn't changed. Mom and Dad both love you. Love for your children never should change. You don't want them to feel angry that Mom or Dad doesn't love them anymore. That isn't true and you know it. But sometimes they don't know it and it is your job to tell them that you love them. Often.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 30, 2012

http://authspot.com/poetry/childhood-closet-a-poem-by-jennifer-jo-fay/
http://authspot.com/poetry/love-speaks-a-poem-by-jennifer-jo-fay/
http://authspot.com/poetry/flower-power-a-poem-by-jennifer-jo-fay/
http://authspot.com/poetry/path-of-truth-a-poem-by-jennifer-jo-fay/

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If anyone likes paperdolls or knows someone who likes paper dolls, check out my paperdoll post on each of my blogs where my paper dolls are for sale:

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http://jenniferpaperdolls.blogspot.com/ The Official Paper Doll Blog
http://mommiedearest101.blogspot.com/
http://yourstrulycraftygal.blogspot.com/
http://prolificpoetrychick.blogspot.com/

Friday, January 13, 2012

What Was Your First Love Like?

Everyone has a first love. Usually the first love doesn't last forever, but we always seem to remember it. When was your first love? Was it puppy love? Did you have a first love with your childhood crush? Was it with a best friend? Did it last a long time? Was the first kiss really awkward?

My first love wasn't really until I was in college.

I had crushes in grade school and all through junior high and high school. In grade school, there were two boys that I had a crush on. In the little grades, I can remember bringing my class picture into my bed. I would play eeny meany miny moe and then the last boy that was left over was going to be the one that I was going to have as my boyfriend. I remember doing this little ritual with my class picture every night before I fell asleep.

In junior high I had crushes on several different boys and probably dreamed about them.

In junior high, I had a boy call me on New Years Eve. He wanted to be my boyfriend. I think it only ended up lasting for the phone call and a week after that.

In high school, I had a boyfriend at school for about two to three weeks. He was italian and was one of thirteen children. It didn't last very long. I think he became my boyfriend, because he was one of three boys that were hanging out with my small click of girlfriends. My friends were a little more outgoing and some of the boys liked to hang around us. And it ended up that he kind of liked me.

But my first love, was a high school guy who I met up with in college. It was the first real love that I had. We went out with each other for a good year and a half or longer. I really loved him. He was the first one I had sex with. I think you always remember the first person that you open up your heart to.

I idolized him and I was quiet and kind of clung to him at parties sometimes. I had a hard time being apart from him when we were mingling at parties. He was definitely a party guy and was in with the popular crowd, that also happened to be a group of partiers, smokers, pot smokers and more. Some of his friends had red faces due to a lot of drinking.

I was shy, and he liked to mingle with other people. I often felt uncomfortable when he would leave me for a little bit.

We ended up breaking up a few times. He broke up with me the first time. We were in the car and he even wanted one more kiss before it was the end. It was awkward.

The second time, I broke up with him. I moved all my stuff out and left. He tried to get me back, but I wouldn't budge.

We were just too different and he was unstable.

But you never forget your first love. It is all new and the first love experience.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 13, 2012

If anyone likes paperdolls or knows someone who likes paper dolls, check out my paperdoll post on each of my blogs where my paper dolls are for sale:

http://jennyjofaypaperdolls.blogspot.com/
http://jenniferpaperdolls.blogspot.com/ The Official Paper Doll Blog
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http://yourstrulycraftygal.blogspot.com/
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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Kris Jenner's affair and Why normal people stray from their marriages

Kris Jenner seems to love to pimp out her girls. They appear like celebrity sluts. She seems to take great pride in pimping them.
And now the new thing seems to be this new rumor of Khloe not being the biological daughter of Robert Kardashion.

Good lord, it must be true and now she and her mom are trying to cover it up. It's come from the man himself.

It wasn't some rumor that a stranger has said to get fifteen minutes of fame.

Khloe shouldn't be getting mad. She should be going to her mother for the hard boiled answers. Kris had an affair and made a mistake.

Bad role model for young girls. Saying it's okay to have an affair and then trying to cover up the fact that Khloe may indeed be the younger man's daughter.

So anyway, she was famous and had an affair. What about everyone else who isn't famous who has an affair. Bad morals possibly.

What makes them do it? Most likely there must be something wrong with their home life. Something must drive them to do it. Why?

Do they get the lustful feelings and then can't seem to can it? Many of us do get lustful feelings once in our lives and we have to realize that it isn't okay and we have to shove it in a bottle. It happened to me once. I had lustful feelings for my daughter's preschool teacher, but I had to can it. But for the time being it became uncomfortable for my friends in the preschool room. The female teachers felt uncomfortable and they probably got embarrassed one day when the male teacher came back into the classroom and said he had an erection about Julia's mom. I over heard him say it as I was walking into the room with Julia. He had come out of the classroom and walked by Julia and I as we were reading a book. He went into the bathroom and when he came out and went back in he let them know what he did.

After the end of the school year, the male teacher ended up taking a job out in California and nothing ever happened. But before the end, he tried to get me in private, but I wouldn't let him have the moment.

I just didn't end up want to do anything to jeopardize my marriage.

And some people have an affair for years, and they try to hide the fact that they're doing it. You would think that they would realize that they are destroying their marriage in the process. When the unsuspecting other half find out, they feel betrayed, hurt and suddenly that trust and marriage vows walk out the door.

The marriage is severed. Damaged. Kaput.

Some people can actually try to reconcile their marriage. Some really feel guilty that they did it and that it didn't mean anything. Many men and women realize that they shouldn't have done it and that they will never do it again.

And then there are other men and women who just don't take their marriage seriously and abuse it and have countless affairs. They probably have no morals.

What can you do when you kind of still love the person and you want to try to forgive him or her? You try really hard to see that the person can change and be a better person for you. They have told you countless times that they will change.

Yet, actions often speak louder than words. You need to see who he or she is and wait for them to show you big changes before you should be willing to accept them back into your life.

Tell them, you need time to yourself to think about things. Let yourself heal and see if there is anything worth beginning again.

When you have kids it becomes extremely hard. You often want to let it slide so you can keep your marriage together. This is when you have to decide if it is going to be better to keep your marriage intact for the kids sake or is it better for you to split up?

No matter what you are both going to still love your children. And your children are still going to love you both.

I even had my oldest daughter ask me last week if I was going to get back with Daddy. I of course had to tell her no.

It's just too much water under the bridge. And its been over a few years and now I have a permanent boyfriend. Sometimes you just can't go back. But because she said that, it made me wonder if she and the other kids were still hoping. But they all know I have a boyfriend and it's not going to change and go back the way it used to be.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 12, 2012

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If anyone likes paperdolls or knows someone who likes paper dolls, check out my paperdoll post on each of my blogs where my paper dolls are for sale:

http://jennyjofaypaperdolls.blogspot.com/
http://jenniferpaperdolls.blogspot.com/ The Official Paper Doll Blog
http://mommiedearest101.blogspot.com/
http://yourstrulycraftygal.blogspot.com/
http://prolificpoetrychick.blogspot.com/

Is Your Life Like a Fairy Tale?

How much is your life like a fairy tale? Do you feel like Cinderella? Do you feel that you were born to be her? Do you have a Cinderella complex where your life has to be a fairytale or not at all?

As a child we grew up to believe in fairy tales. There was Snow White who was the fairest one of all. And then there was the evil ugly Queen with the poisonous apple destined to kill. And remember, the huntsman couldn't bear to cut out her heart and give it to the queen. She really did deserves the pig's heart.

In all these fairy tales, there is always a beautiful princess and the wicked witch. The beautiful princess is always the most exquisite girl in the world and she has the kindness of a million years. There isn't a mean bone in her body.

Belle was also beautiful, and her evilness ended up being Gaston. He wanted to kill the Beast who was really not who he seemed and was a prince inside waiting to be released.

I don't know about Alice in Wonderland. She was really pretty, yet I think she was just a dreamer. No prince in sight there.

And there was Arielle who was also a fair mermaid and Ursula who desired her beautiful voice. And Arielle was a girl who wished for something that in real life could never be.

Which girl are you? Are you Cinderella, Snow White, Arielle, Alice or Sleeping Beauty. I guess Sleeping Beauty was the curious one.

Are you like Cinderella and you have to have the perfect life, the perfect man, the perfect children, the perfect home and to go with it the wicked stepmother. Or maybe in real life the wicked stepmother is your mother or your mother n law. The wicked one is always one in real life that wants to be mean to you. It's the person who wants to make sure that your life isn't perfect like a fairy tale.
And with her, you get the jealous step sisters. Or maybe in real life it is the jealous friend who wants what you have and would like to take it away from you.

Or if you are Snow White, perhaps you are dreaming about escape. A way out. Maybe you are in an abusive relationship. And you are a fair maiden and you are looking for new love. And it comes in the shape of a dwarf or something else. Snow White is a good singer. Maybe you possess her voice. The scene that always made me fascinated was when she was running through the forest and got caught on the branches. Maybe you're that girl that is always getting caught in a web of lies and deceit. Maybe there is mystery to your life that is going to unfold in some point in time.

Or if you are Belle, you strive to look within the ugly person and see something absolutely beautiful. Maybe you are that girl who has a change of heart and is willing to love someone for the person that he is inside. Yet perhaps if you are Belle, you are a family girl and your roots run deep.

Or if you are Arielle, perhaps there is something missing from your life and you want something that is beyond your reach. You have to deal with the cards you are dealt with. Are you a girl that is never satisfied with what she has and always wants something more. Are you high maintenence? You need more to fulfill your life?

Or if you are Sleeping Beauty your curiousity gets the best of you and you get into trouble sometimes. Yet, your Mr. Right longs for you.

And if you end up being Alice, then you're probably most definitely authentic with crazy dreams. You are definitely a creative creature who doesn't want her nose in a book. She would rather live it.

And do you ever think your life is like a fairytale? Some people do end up living in a fairytale life. We get the perfect man, the beautiful children and the beautiful home. But is it really beautiful? Sometimes things are never as they seem. Yes, some people actually live the fairytale dream and are happy forever.

But some princesses think they are in a fairytale, and then they end up in their private hell. And nobody ever knows it. Until you hear about divorce, death and loss of happiness. They thought they had happiness and the perfect life, yet they didn't. It was a figment of their imagination.

And then there is the dream that as little girls we all long to be real princesses. It's the stuff that dreams are made of. Princess Di was a princess and what did she get? The paparazzi and a car crash resulting in death.

And as children, we sometimes dreaming of being famous and an actress, actor or other famous person. And then we look at these famous people and they get their fame, but at a price. They lose their privacy and can't get their private life back. Who wants to be hounded all the time by photographers? That's got to be no fun.

Do you think that they all live a fairy tale life? Probably not. I'm sure it must have it's perks, but it also has many other things involved. What about that sicko who wants to stalk them? The fanatic fan? It probably makes their life a living hell and certainly no fairy tale.

So fairytales are lovely, but don't rely on ever having the perfect fairytale life. It usually doesn't exist.

Not in our not perfect world. I would rather have things not so perfect, but nevertheless happy. We can sort of live a fairy tale life as long as we know that the fairy tale also comes with some flaws.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 12, 2012