Saturday, January 14, 2012

What Happens When We Don't Fit Society's Mold?

Okay, what really does happen when we don't fit society's mold?  There are millions of us women and men that don't fit the mold.

And what is the mold supposed to be anyway?  I mean who are we expected to be like?

I'm one of many women who like to look at the fashion magazines and the People and Star Magazines, but it makes me sick looking at some of those stick thin figures.  I mean are we really going to look like them?  And would we really want to?

Who desires to be wafer thin and anorexic?  Not too many realistic women want to become anorexic, so why do we have all these models in the magazines looking like there is nothing to them?  They are skin and bones and no meat to them.

But of course for years and years we have been longing to look like some of these models.  We long for their expensive and if we can't afford them, we look for a cheaper knockoff of the look.  All these magazines show us the look for less.

Who would love to wear what Kirsten Dunst wears?  Or who would long for that dress that Kirsten Stewart wore.  The short red dress with the safety pins all over it.  Who would love to dress like Lady Gaga?  Not me.  Although maybe there are a few of her dresses that would look nice.  She can keep all the wigs and those mile high shoes.  She might as well be on stilts.  Has she been on stilts yet?  I'm not sure.

And now all these older models like Cindy Crawford, Tyra Banks and some of the others would be considered plus size.

So, according to all the fashion magazines, we do not even attempt to fit the mold.  For years we have been longing to be beautiful and gorgeous like all those models.

They really aren't the best role models for us.  They are pushing these younger teenage girls to think that it is okay to starve themselves.  It's great to be ANOREXIC!  Yeah!  Go for being light as a feather.  Puke your heart out and wind up in the hospital and dead.  All because you wanted to look like the stick figures in the magazine.

I got disgusted with one of those recent bikini pictures of LeAnn Rhimes.  Who wants to see all those bones?  I mean, that's at least what I thought I was seeing.  I think I would rather see her covered up in a turtleneck and long pants after that.

So, truth be told, we do not fit society's mold.  Many of us are even lucky if we can say we can fit into an 8.  The more realistic goal is that we can fit into a 10 or a 12.  Especially if you are a mother of multiple children like me.  I still have the stomach after four kids and I have had women think I was pregnant. 

Millions of us are a little on the chunky side, some of us overweight.  We can't help it if we can't fit into a size 8 or ever a size 6 or a size 4.

Who out there wants to be a size 2?  Not me.  I'd rather have some meat on my bones.

Society's mold is asking us all to be wafer thin, eat a strict diet probably based on salads and not much more, we're to dress like the models and we are supposed to have sex appeal that is going to attract a Prince Charming that is all pecks, biceps and the perfect physique.  Okay, now what man really fits that mold?  Is prince charming supposed to look like the male models in the magazines?  Probably not. 

Because most men do not fit the mold either.

And are we all supposed to have these made up faces called make-up masks?  Who can actually say they have make-up on every single day?  Who primps and preps for hours to gain herself a man?  I guess that would be all the single ladies.  Many of us women who are married or have boyfriends don't always even think to put the make up on.  I don't. 
I do like to do my nails every week.  I do keep up on that.  That's just kind of fun to pick and choose your nail polish and do a little painting of your nails.  I like to paint my nails different colors and then add different color glitter nail polish or all that new Crackle nail polish.

I do possess make-up, all the eye shadow, mascara, eye liner, blush and foundation, but I usually forget to use it.  Once in a great while I make myself use it.  But it's not my daily ritual.

So I would be safe to say that I do not fit society's mold, but I do look really good for having four children.  But I can't seem to shake off the stomach.

How many women try really hard to fit society's mold?  I mean, how many women really strive to look like the stick figures.  I mean, maybe in today's world they are skinnier than Twiggy.  She was skinny in the eyes of her society, but today's young woman wants to waste away to nothing so that she can fit into Audrey Hepburn's little black dress.

How many women out there want to fit into a little black dress?  Millions probably.  They all know that their men would love to see them in a little black dress.  Actually, in reality, men would rather see them in their Birthday Suit.  Just put a bow and some glad wrap around you and you are all set to go.  Wouldn't you rather be like Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes? 

She seems to be the figure of many of us women.  Or Queen Latifah.  She is bigger and she is beautiful.  And to be factual, her inner beauty is radiant.

I think to all of us that don't fit society's mold, we should stop trying to fit in.  Wouldn't you rather be yourself and have your radiant beauty?  I'd rather be a little bigger and have my inner beauty shine through.  After all what did our mothers used to say to us?  Physical beauty is skin deep by what shines through is your inner beauty.  Inner beauty is what you are all about.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted January 14, 2012

Our inner beauty is always a flower in bloom.  I usually take pictures of this older couples flowers in the summer time and met the elderly couple who live there.  One day his wife came home as I was there and he said,  "Here is my favorite flower.  She's always in bloom."  A wonderful thing to say about his wife.

If anyone likes paperdolls or knows someone who likes paper dolls, check out my paperdoll post on each of my blogs where my paper dolls are for sale:  The Official Paper Doll Blog 


  1. I'm 35, never married & no kids; that's a pretty big mold breaker to start with. People stress me out & that's kinda weird in our introverted culture. Still an immature free spirit trying desperately to be like everyone else, to pay rent if nothing more.
    I'm pretty tired.

  2. I think it shouldn't matter if we don't fit the mold. Who are we trying to please?

  3. Hi, Jenifer, I am Nur here.for the first time I read your blog and it is so true that most of becoming slave to those fashions bugs. at sometime I found myself not fit to the society of my friends as they feel so cool when they talk about fashion bugs,what they eat, what they wear, what they do in their daily routing.just like you said I am sick of those topics and useless.all i know is men wants women to be the "stick figure" this is all about money, in this sense women have become commercial object that so call group of cool (fools)people tend to follow those fashion bugs. i am wondering is this really God want us to do?is this our purpose in our lives on the earth? do we really have to pursue them? I knew most of them frustrate God thanks to but not. Any way please keep writing, i just loved to see the people who understand the reality. Thank you and good luck
    Best regard